Regret
by Fear The Pika
Summary: <html><head></head>Need some help finding the perfect gift for a wonderful person? Then why not pull her characters into it to help? Living in the Moment parody-ish one-shot.</html>


So, this is one of my other birthday presents for Firebirdxox, but due to... things... I only gave it to her today. Fan fiction of fan fiction again? Madness! Go read her story, Living in the Moment, and this will make sense. Heck, go read it anyways, it is awesome. Until next time~

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><p><strong>Regrets<strong>

The Pikachu stood silently in the white- the blindingly white, the eternally white- plain. He was not of that world, nor was he of the world that he intended to temporarily being several creatures from, he was not even from any dimension that the legendary Palkia could travel to. But none of that mattered. All that mattered was the problem posed to him. Should he bring those creatures to this dimension for their help, or should he try to do the daunting, yet pleasant task posed to him by himself?

With a snap of his fingers that rent through the silence of the bland world, the matter was decided, and eight Pokémon appeared before him: a Mightyena, a Charmeleon, a Luxray, a Machoke, a Rampardos, a Golduck, a Turtwig and a Natu. The near-omnipotent Pikachu was about to speak when he was cut off by a shriek.

"Don't eat me!"

An icy stare was all that the Natu received, although it confirmed the frantic bird's idea that he was going to be eaten. Then the Pikachu tried to speak again, only to be cut off by savage growls and knuckle-popping.

"Where the _ are we? And who the _ are you? And where the _ is Leah?" the Mightyena questioned, growling and taking an aggressive stance, ready for combat. Then, momentarily taken aback, he asked, "And why the _ can't I _ swear?"

The Pikachu made to reply to the questions when he was cut off by the Golduck. Fuming inside, he sat back and waited for the Pokémon prodigy to offer an explanation, somewhat curious as to what the duck would make of the situation.

"It appears, you blithering canine, that an entity of immense power has transported all of us to an alternate dimension. If you aggravate him, there is the possibility that he will vaporize each one of us in a manner most horrific."

"Dante, speak English!"

"Guys, I think there's something wrong with Shelly! She's been trying to speak this entire time, but she hasn't been able to say a word!" Tak screamed, catching the Pikachu's interest.

It was true. The Turtwig was red in the face, trying to talk, but no words were coming from her mouth.

"_" went Shelly, opening and closing her mouth to no effect.

The electric rodent continued to watch Shelly with fascination as Shadow and Tak both charged in to attack him, only to be frozen in their tracks with a snap of the Pikachu's fingers.

"Filthy rodent hurt human-wolf and feathered tennis ball! Tyson hurt rodent!" the enraged Rampardos roared. "Lizard-girl, muscle head, help Tyson smear rodent into ground?"

"My pleasure," was the simultaneous reply of Claire and Keon, although the latter was slightly miffed at being called "muscle head".

Ignoring Dante's spluttering protests, Claire shot a massive Flamethrower at the Pikachu while Keon and Tyson charged in with a Karate Chop and a Take Down. But as with the previous attempt to attack the tiny mouse, they were stopped with a sigh and a snap of fingers. Turning to the only three Pokémon left who could still move, the slightly-annoyed Pikachu froze them in their place before they got any stupid ideas.

"Now, you will let me talk. I will answer your questions, say what I brought you here for, then I will let you each have a turn to speak. We can do this for as long as we need to; time has no meaning here." he said, eyes narrowed to slits. "And, despite my power, I don't know what is wrong with the Turtwig. I'm not omniscient, you know. Dante, maybe you can offer an explanation?" And with that, the annoyance on his face faded, changing to a somewhat unfitting smile, considering what had just happened a moment earlier.

Unable to move, except for his mouth, Dante thought about the situation for a few moments, taking slightly longer than needed. After all, why not have Shadow hang in the air, unable to move for a while? But when the Pikachu's expression started changing from happily indifferent to annoyed again, he hastily spoke up.

"I have a hypothesis that I would like to endeavor. Could you grant Shelly use of her vocal chords for a moment?" the imposing blue duck asked. When his request was granted, he called back to Shelly, "Now, Shelly, why don't you try not swearing. You've been trying to iterate profanity from the moment we arrived. Obviously, it hasn't worked."

"No! I'll say whatever the _ I want!" Shelly yelled before losing her power of speech again.

"My name is Pika~," the Pikachu said, suddenly losing interest in the Turtwig. "You are living in this temporary world for the moment. Leah is exactly where you left her, and you can't swear because I dislike profanity and will not listen to it. Now, since Kenya hasn't had a chance to speak and she's bursting to say something, I will let her ask her question, and then we will move on to why you are here."

"Hi! I bet you're good at freeze tag, aren't you?" came the soft, energetic purr. Pika~ resisted the urge to facepalm at the innocent question, regained his composure, and then started to explain his motives, ignoring the question.

"In my home world, I am nobody. I am less than nobody. But here, here I am a being more powerful than even Mew. There is another being in my world, more intelligent than me: the creator of your world and the dictator of every action in your lives. I have become good friends with her and I wish to give a present to celebrate her birthday. Her name isn't something that I will share with you, you do not need to know that at the moment. I doubt that I can create a suitable gift alone, however, and want your help. Claire?"

"What the _ can we do that an 'all powerful being' can't?" the Charmeleon asked, spitting a flame onto the ground. "And what do we get in return?"

"Finally, someone is speaking sense!" Pika~ exclaimed, ignoring the death glare he was receiving from Dante. "I could make multiple copies of myself and have them imitate all of you exactly, voice, appearance, mannerisms, etc. But where's the fun in that? It's always interesting to have a few variables in the equation. And I can give you a wish each, just as long as that wish is within the rules. Tyson?"

"So, rodent is really Genie? Is Tyson in lamp?" Tyson asked. The sound of his brain overheating from the "complicated" line of thought was audible-an egg being dropped onto a hot pan-, and steam started to rise from his head.

"No, I'm not, and no you aren't. Don't strain yourself, please; I don't want to have to bring you back from the dead because your brain exploded. Who's next? Oh shoot... I'm not sure why I'm even bothering, but... Shelly...?"

"Why _ and _ you_ wish _ magic pixie _ constipation _ mummify _ skittles _river of lava _ five-hundred tons of gunpowder _ gasoline _ apocalypse *Bleep* Greg?"

"Wow, you actually overrode the profanity filter to a 'bleep'... Yes, but only if the square root of pie exceeds the BMI of the color heptot, multiplied by "X" when "X" is equal or greater to the number of creatures barfing over the rainbow. Dante?"

"But what if you simply took the hypotenuse of a circle, then atomized it with the median of kittens found in celery? Wouldn't that make a better substitute for "X"?"

A muffled explosion sounded and Tyson collapsed to the floor.

"Whoops, there goes the dinosaur. Keon, you can talk after I'm done with Dante. And no, Dante, because the atomized median of kittens found in celery doesn't surpass the number of rainbows when you factor in optimal conditions, sad puppies and tri-colored unicorns. Get it now?"

"Indubitably. It never occurred to me for even a moment to substitute those variables in for the ones I had previously been using. Now, as much as I relish conversing with a creature whose intelligence factor is greater than a slug, I fear that I will have to try my best to terminate you for the destruction of Tyson."

Pika~ laughed- a momentary explosion of sharp noise. Then his eyes narrowed to slits again as he teleported himself right in front of Dante, staring him directly in the eyes, letting a small trickle of electricity leak its way into the Golduck's body. "If you're going to try to kill someone, it's better if you don't tell them that you're going to do it. Otherwise they might just decide to snuff you out first."

The one-sided stare down continued for a little while longer as Pika~ revived Tyson with a twitch of his tail, then the Pikachu teleported back to his original spot, angrily gesturing at Keon to speak.

"How is it even physically possible for someone's brain to explode?"

"It isn't. Shadow?"

"You basically said that you're omnipotent. So does that mean that you could rebirth someone, even if they've been dead for more than just a moment? Say, almost a year?"

"Yes. No more questions about that. Why? Because I said so. Kenya?"

"Do you want to play 'Truth'? It's really fun! And maybe we can play 'Hide-And-Go-Seek afterward!"

"You don't care that Tyson was dead?" Pika~ asked, somewhat startled. How could a Pokémon as sweet as Kenya not care that one of her friends had died?

"He was? I thought that he was just taking a nap. He's ok now, right? Right!"

"Yes. Tak?"

"Why haven't I gotten to speak before now?"

"I forgot about you. Congratulations, you just blew your question. Now, it's time to get to work." Pika~ said, drawing himself up to his full height, short as it was, and pointing with his tail. "What I want is for you all to line up, you have movement for now; I'm going to take a picture. Shadow, you on the far left. Clair, get to his left, a little more, good. Keon, behind Claire. Kenya, you and Dante to their left, I want you _sitting_, Kenya, not chasing your tail. Dante, between her paws. Tyson, sit to their left. No, their _other _left. Tak, you and Shelly do whatever you want, I don't care. I can change your pose in the picture later. And…done! Kelly, I'll edit you in later, too. Next task!"

"No! We will not move on to the next _ task!" Shadow yelled. "You were just talking to Kelly! You can bring people back from the dead, you said so yourself! You _ did it! I want to see Kelly, or I want my _ wish right _ NOW!"

"No, end of discussion." Pika~ replied, snapping his fingers. However, when Shadow crouched down and bared his fangs, it quickly became apparent that nothing had happened.

Confused, Pika~ started backing away palms up as he tried to trace the source of his loss of power. He tried a few tricks: bringing a small stuffed squirrel to his paw, then sending it back, bringing several Rockets back to life before frying them with Thunder, rubbing his tummy while patting his head. Everything was working fine, except for when he tried to do something that would affect himself or any of the other Pokémon with him.

Then, as is prompted by some unknown source to clear up the confusion, a shrill voice called out to Shadow.

"Shadow, Celebi and I are blocking his power to heal himself, or hurt you and your friends, but we can only hold it for a moment. Get what you want NOW!"

The Mightyena muttered a quick thank-you to Mew and his favorite time-traveling magical fairy, and then pounced onto Pika~, fangs at the rodent's throat until Keon and Claire dashed over to hold him down.

"Now, rat. You will listen to me." Shadow growled, fangs still bared. "You will bring Kelly back as a Mightyena. If you try anything that you even _think _I'll dislike, Claire will press her tail against you. Understand?"

"Yes," Pika~ replied, sweating profusely. He braced himself for a second to third-degree burn, knowing that is was coming after his next statement. "But I can't! Not 'won't', can't!"

"What do you mean, can't! You were _just_ talking to her!" Shadow screamed, eyes tearing up slightly.

"It's like this. I am only borrowing you, so anything big I give you will only be temporary as it will only disappear when I send you back. Heck, even small things will only be momentary. So yes, _technically _I could give any one of you anything you wanted, but it would go away when you go back to your world, along with all memory of this entire meeting. And I was more talking to myself, Kelly wasn't and isn't here. Would you like a lollipop instead?"

The tension was thick in the air, only to be shattered by Kenya's squeals of delight.

"I want a lollipop! Can it be a big one? And shaped like a rainbow? Oh! Can it just look like a rainbow made into a lollipop?"

Tyson mimed barfing as the requested item appeared and Kenya shrieked with joy, completely oblivious that he had been dead, even though it had only been for a moment.

"But why did Celebi and Mew restrain you, then? You weren't going to give us anything, were you?" Claire snarled.

"Because we like to screw with people!" Mew giggled in reply, still unable to physically appear anywhere near Pika~. "Haven't we proven that already?"

Pika~ shot a glare through space, letting the two Psychic Pokémon feel the metaphorical daggers that he was shooting at them. Then, breaking free of their lock, the disgruntled Pikachu teleported himself back to his previous spot with a loud bang and addressed the now-cowering Pokémon.

"My my, how the tables have turned… again…" he drawled. He looked the scene before him for a few moments more, and then shook his head and sighed. "No, I can't do it. I just can't be mean or vengeful, even after that. I'm sorry that I dragged you into this, I just wanted to do something special for this person. You'd understand, too, if you knew her. Just… just enjoy this. Live in the moment, not in the future or the past, it won't last for long."

With a final snap of his fingers, Pika~ gave his unwilling participants what they each wanted: the one they loved, wings, caffeine, ten-trillion Pecha Berries, a Nobel prize for exceptional intelligence, and a twenty foot thick solid-steel barrier that appeared whenever someone was about to try to eat him.

Pika~ set the clock for one hour before everything vanished and the eight went back to reality, and then disappeared.


End file.
